“Fly free I say, for someday fall you may.
Yet in my safe arms you shall always stay.”
(Quote by me, Jules . Inspired by the love that my brother has for his child.)
It’s Father’s Day weekend.
I have decided to share just a few tips of what I feel could make a huge difference in a little girls life due to her father’s choices. My parents divorced when I was 6 years old. Even though my father made the choice to move far away from us as children, and did not return until I was far into adulthood, he had a very powerful impact on my life. I can’t say that my life was by any stretch of the imagination free of drama due to my father’s choice to seemingly abandon us, however, I will say that I was one of the lucky ones. Meaning that throughout the years of whenever I did speak to my father on the phone he shared great wisdom with me. And I was smart enough to do as he said, rather than following his actions. In other words I did my best to learn the best of his love rather than to mimick his fears. I see now that he did the best he could at the time, just as I have lived my own life. So with no regrets or bitterness, I open my heart to him, my father, with a sense of gratitude for all the gifts I inherited of him, from him, and for him.
Today I honor all the beautifully loving father’s in my life. The men whom I did have and still have as role models. The respect I have for the beautifully loving and present father’s of my precious god children, and the lessons learned of love from all the male warriors in my life. Thank you, Love you.
“F” Fawn over her. There is never too much love and affection between a father and his little girl. Some people may perceive this as spoiling your child. I say it is imperative for both her emotional well-being and optimal immune function. Receiving an abundance of hugs, kisses and love from the very first man she will ever love is a cherished gift. Yes, you are working hard to provide for her health and well being,yet… play with her, run with her, dance with her, carry and hold her as much as you can. Before you know it, she will be grown and you will wish for those moments where you sat cheek to cheek smelling the sweetness of babies breath. Yes, by all means Love, Love, Love your baby girl. She will soak it up like a sponge.
“A” Always help her to feel safe. Instilling a “knowing” of safety in her little psyche will have an immense impact on her before and after it’s time for her to leave the nest to venture out into the world. In terms of her comfort levels and the degree of courage it takes to achieve her goals and dreams are in direct correlation with this fact. She will make her choices through a sense of confidence rather than desperation. So keep that beautiful heart and those strong arms wide open daddy!
“T” Tell her how pretty she is, just because you can. Not only do compliments enhance self-esteem, they will also teach her to be kind to others. Tell her that she can have, and be anything she wants to be. After all she is new life. An unlimited being filled with miraculous potential. She is your finest creation. Yet she is her own person. She is your second chance, yet she is the wonder of the universe. No matter what, she is perfect in the eyes of the divine. And you are blessed enough to tell her so.
“H” Healthy communication inspires honesty and integrity. The more it is instilled in her to be true to herself, and to set strong boundaries, the more she will simply and innately attract people in her life that compliment her values. When we are mindful of the power of our words, and we use them wisely, the result is liken to nurturing a fragile beautiful flower. Her bloom shall be breathtaking. Crushing criticism and projecting your fears will do nothing but teach her to repress what is her right to express, She was born with a voice, let her sing. The more open you are to respecting her insight the more blissful moments will be shared between you.
“E” Express your emotions. Let her know that it’s okay to cry if our loved ones or animals are hurt or die. Cry with her. Laugh as much as you can with her. Not only will it release endorphins, but it will also teach her to keep her ego from becoming inflated and to keep life light with little drama. Empathy, not victim consciousness is one of the most precious traits of a human being. Perception rules the mind and the heart. Thoughts may have the potential to become things. However, without conception of the heart,which are your feelings, it almost never manifests. When she learns to be in touch with her natural and healthy emotions, it will build trust in you and herself.
“R” Remember this, please. For when she grows into an adult, it can be the most crucial element of whom she attracts in her life as a mate. The way you treat and speak too and about women will have an everlasting impact on her life. There is an old saying, ” The best gift a man can give his child is to love their mother”. Some of you are reading this with wide eyes and thinking,” that is just not possible”.Yet it is possible!!! At any given moment the universe is more than willing to supply you with more love than you can ever imagine!! And that love can and will be completely absorbed by your precious little creation, your baby girl. All you need to do is ask.Whether you are happily married, separated or divorced, there is no reason in the world why your child should be put in the position of feeling like they have to “fix” you or the woman in your lives because you are choosing to express yourself through a reaction of verbal vomit rather than taking the high road. Just because your role models “may” have stripped you of your innocence doesn’t mean you have to continue that learned behavior. It is not who you are. You are love personified. When in doubt, just look into your daughters eyes to see that truth. You have a free will. And that free will allows you the choice to be kind or not. Just be mindful that when you pull your head away from your heart, no one wins. You are your child’s knight and shining armor. If you choose to disregard a woman in your child’s presence, as painful as it is, she may find comfort in that cruel dysfunction when she becomes an adult and seeks a love of her own. So before you speak unkindly to the life givers of this planet, you may want to ask yourself how your words may be affecting your child’s spirit, and your own spirit for that matter. You don’t have to always like or approve of everyone, however, it is important to help your little one learn how to respect herself and others by keeping your words and actions draped with integrity. Yes, please, remember, to her, your word is God.
Happy Father’s Day !
Let us Shine as Love & Light