I have to say that this time of year has been quite challenging for me the past few years. I have experienced the loss of a lot of my loved ones in these months of March, April, and May. My mother, my father, two of my grandmothers, grandfather, my godmother, my dear aunt, and some good friends all passed away in separate years yet in these particular months. When our loved ones transcend in such a short time, it becomes extra hard to process it all. We go through the grieving process, yet it is such a personal journey. Some of us grieve in a normal time frame… whatever that means? Some of us grieve for the rest of our lives. Some of us repress the grieving for so long, that we are in denial of it. Anyone that has experienced the death of a loved one knows what I am talking about. And those of you that have not experienced this cannot imagine what it feels like. You can try. You can have sympathy and compassion toward others feelings. Yet it is just one of those things that only when it happens to us personally, is when I beleive we can truly empathize with another. And please, allow me to tell you that when you lose the ones that brought you in to this world, or raised you, it can feel like someone is ripping your heart out of your chest. Of course that all depends on when, and how you lose your loves ones as well. It is all perception, and as I said earlier, a very personal journey.
I recently went to see a film called, ” Heaven is For Real”. It is the amazing true story of a little 4 year boy who goes to heaven and comes back. He emerges from a life threatening surgery, and when he wakes up, he begins to share things with his parents that are completely astounding. I won’t say anything more about the film except that it is also a book, and I highly recommend either seeing this film or reading the book. or both! “Heaven is for Real” left me with a feeling of great comfort. It reminded me of what I have known all along. And that is that even though there is physical death, we go on. Like a caterpillar that turns into a butterfly we transcend. I for one am on the constant look out for signs to connect with my loved ones that have passed on. Ask and you shall receive is proven to me on a daily basis. There is a trick however, to connecting to our loves ones after they leave this earth plane. We have to let go. We have to let go of the pain of our loss of them, allow them to come to us in their new form of pure energy, and their new choice of matter. If you do this, I promise you that you will see signs that they are still with you, it is just different now.
One of the most powerful actions I took to release the pain of the loss of my loved ones is that I had a ceremony. My most recent ceremony was for my beloved Grandmother Zelda Pearl. Whenever I would see a hummingbird, I feel her. Instead of moping around the property where she once lived and I live now, I went and bought 2 new hummingbird feeders and hung them on my back porch. And yes, the hummingbirds did come. One day there were two, yet they left as swiftly as they came. Nevertheless, my heart lit up like sunshine when I saw them.
Then I walked over to Grams favorite Bottle Brush tree, picked two of the flowers, and intertwined them. One for her and, one for gramps. Together we sat in the beautiful fairy tree. I told them how grateful I am that her and grandpa planted that tree so many years ago so I can now make wishes and dream of all the wonder in life.
Together we made our way over to the little bayou where she and my grandfather would fill up buckets of water to feed the gardens and plants they planted when they first moved here some forty and more years ago. And now it was up to me and Jared to carry on and restore what they laid as a foundation. Can you see the little white heart that randomly appeared in the water?
Then… it was time to let go. To let go of the pain and suffering I felt from the loss of these 2 very significantly beloved people that will remain precious in my heart forevermore. In that moment, the light shined extra bright on the symbolic bottle brush flowers. It was so beautiful, just like the hearts of my grandparents. Together they both live in complete peace now. And I trust that they want me to feel the same. They are both young and free again. Gram is dancing around happy while gramp admires her beautiful legs. He’s charming her with his lightening sharp wit, and he can’t look away from her beautiful turquoise eyes. Of course I will always miss the feeling of when they were here on earth. Yet it doesn’t hurt anymore like it did. Something in my heart mended that day. I found a new outlook on what I had felt previously as a traumatic loss. I knew in that moment they were right here with me all along, and they will remain with me, as all I have to do is ask. Sometimes I have moments where I almost feel invincible. After all, when you have as many guardian angels as I do watching over you, how else would you feel? :) Yes, it is all perception. Am I focused on the loss? Or am I focused on the love. And after all is said and done, it truly is, All. About. The. Love. ♥